it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
