Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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