Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I will die if light touches me.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
