Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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