I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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