Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
