NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
