Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
