I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
