You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
