White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
as a side note pls kill me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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