What a fucking waste of an outfit
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
