Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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