This is not my ceiling
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
