I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
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Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
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Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
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