look no pants
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hippo gnu deer
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
