you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
