The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
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My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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