he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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