It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize