nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize