the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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