hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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