Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
When are your genitals available?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
