Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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