Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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