So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
