My room smells like vodka and shame
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
my liver is dry heaving
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
