Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
