we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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