i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
