i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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