Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
