At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize