What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
