Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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