I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
