please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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