If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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