If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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