How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
