i barfeds in our rink
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
