If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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