better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
