I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
