just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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