My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
