I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize