whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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