addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
