Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
