I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
