I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
