Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
