his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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