Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
