Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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