rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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