There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
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being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
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I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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