Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
