He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
