yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We have so much sex to catch up on
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
