as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
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You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
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I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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