Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
