Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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