they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's blow job season.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have so many feelings about this burrito
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
